apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

A response from the one who used the words "mechanical" and "a tad moralistic" about today's list. Alice, I very much appreciate your using the word "shell-shocked" - it was helpful for me to hear and it's really what I feel.

I want to clarify too. I thank Maxwell heartily for his work on this blog. I truly appreciate his efforts. I do NOT think the blog is mechanical or moralistic. I actually even appreciated some aspects of the list today. I can certainly use organizational help -big-time.

It was when Maxwell suggested putting in a thank-you note with the rent check that I got aggravated. The idea seemed fake, mechanical, and a "tad moralistic" (unless one truly FELT motivated - but how often would one have that impulse?) and as I said previously I'm really touchy today (post-election) about people who behave in a FAKE manner.

Obviously I can pick and choose what I do and don't do - I was just expressing my sentiments. I certainly intend to keep reading the blog.
Margaret
San Francisco

Well Margaret we got a great discussion out of your comments so indeed, thank you.

This list was obviously meant to choose what suits your existence. If the timeframes, etc don't suit you, adjust them to your own, but have a standard of living which makes you happy. Most of my calls at night are to California—to old friends in SF—and they are still at work at nine and unreachable. Never talking to them would bring me down.

The thank-you card in the rent was a bit much, I'll agree. It'd be right if you actually knew them wellbut not in many situations.

As a West Coast regular reader of your blog, I generally find it extremely interesting for design ideas and for a way to keep in touch with NYC (I used to live in Manhattan and continue to savor all the boroughs as a visitor).

However, you increasingly seem to be including "lifestyle" blurbs, e.g. how to organize and live one's life such as today's list. From my perspective, it is mechanical and also a tad moralistic. Maybe I'm a bit touchy because of my grief about Tuesday's election results and the attendant edifice of "morality".
Anyway, I wish you would keep such writing to a minimum. Thanks.
Margaret S.
San Francisco

I like these kinds of articles- I live in Manhattan, in a small studio. Life can sometimes seem so overwhelming- when really if you take care of the little things, it's not that bad and the big things won't get out of hand.
These articles and this blog overall, make me realize that letting the dry-cleaning pile up, along w/ the bag of stuff I keep meaning to take to goodwill, not only clutter my apt, but drain energy from my life.
Now that it's dark when I leave the office, I am less likely to do these things after work.
I have a lot to do this weekend, and your advice motivates me to improve my living space and at the same time increase my quality of life.
Thanks and happy Friday!

I have to say, I like these lists too. I like that you don't separate the stuff from way we use or don't use it. And you haven't (yet!) strayed too far into Real Simple's scary territory.

Margaret, deep sympathies on a loss tainted further by the edifice of "morality". We're feeling it here, too.

I like these lists. To me they fit in perfectly with the rest of site and it balances nicely against the design ideas. After all, it's called "Apartment Therapy" isn't it?

My only wish is that the stores you recommend were more accessible to those of us on the West Coast. But I'm not complaining. It's clear that this is written for a New York audience. The rest of us are just listening in.

Michael Bean
San Francisco

Part of the beauty of blogs is their ability for one person's perspective to get out there. That freedom and that ability for one person to touch so many are the tangible fruits of democracy. Seriously, without having to be part of a huge media machine, taking advantage of freedom of speech--I know this may be too dramatic--but our ability to choose from so many perspectives is something only a minority of citizens around the world get to do. Maybe we didn't get our way on Tuesday, but we can talk about it and how to live our lives all we want. Maybe seeing it that way might allow you to put up with opinions that don't exactly benefit you.

Anyway, I was also looking for long articles like this for comfort yesterday and I found these great sites that people may want to check out,

World Changing, Another World Is Here
Land Living, Modern Lifestyle Design

Unfortunately the AT system won't allow URLs anymore, so I guess google the names and they'll come up. They are worth the extra step!

www.worldchanging.com/
www.landliving.com

Maybe taking off the http will work...

Kudos from AZ as well!

What does the election have to do with your day to day habits that can create a "flow" to life. After all, what is good design intended to do?

If your "morals" are being stretched to make your bed... well...

Wow, never looked at preventing mildew as "moralistic." Margaret, you sooooooooo need to take a chill pill. Apparently you've not done too well adopting a laid-back West Coast perspective...

And I'm bummed out (understatement) about Tuesday, too... but don't take it out on Maxwell... he's one of the GOOD GUYS.

Nice sentiment, and I'm glad you have so much time on your hands. But for those of us working 14+ hours per day, I have to ask - who has the time for this stuff? By the time I get home, there are no local stores open for me to run errands and it's all I can do to collapse into bed. How about some realistic advice for the stressed and time-poor?

I'm in Dallas, and I have a couple of thoughts on this thread.
1. good design can be found anywhere; i.e., not just in New York. What apartmenttherapy teaches can be learned and extrapolated anywhere. HOWEVER - it's the WAY Maxwell educates that keeps me a devoted reader.
2. a comfortable home is a universal desire. The maintenance of said home is just as important as its adornment.
3. I'm really, REALLY sorry for the way most of my state voted.

That's all.

I personally enjoy reading the lifestyle blurbs on Apartment Therapy. It's no good knowing how to separate warm and cool colors if you aren't mentally in the place to utilize them properly, and to me these kind of life-declutter articles are just that. Great design is nothing if you can't "be" in the middle of it. I need a reminder of that occasionally. I'm not perfect, I don't pretend to be, and I like someone saying "hey, light a candle when you eat, it costs nothing and it's just great."

For me, Apartment Therapy is NOT DWR on a shoestring... it's much more big-picture than that. I'd hardly call it mechanical. That would be "here's an easy project to build a wooden shelf and fill it with crap" or "here's why pink is in for spring..." like so many design shwos, magazines, etc that already exist.

Also, our definitions of "moralistic" are two very different things. If a majority of the country defined morality as Margaret does, then we'd be much more concerned with oiling countertops then defining marriage ;-)

Love the blog and the lists, but sending a thank you note in with rent every month is over the top.

KH, working 14 hours a day obviously means you have chosen work and stress over this kind of nurturing life.

KH, you don't have to do all of it. You don't take one moment for yourself in the 10 hours a day you're not working? 14 hour work days are a choice, don't malign the rest of us for not choosing stress over a nurturing life.

The beauty about these lists is that you can take what you like and leave the rest.

It's all about finding serenity in your own home and incorporating those life rituals that afford you the time and space to be truly happy. If one looks at not doing something mentioned on this list as a testament to how "wrong" their life is, then one will never be happy. This site is not solely about design and efficiency; it is about lifestyle choices made to live life to the fullest.

If you can't run the errands on your way home FROM work, then how about on your way TO work. If saying thank you to your landlord is distasteful; donÂ’t do it. It doesnÂ’t mean you are a good OR bad person. It just means thatÂ’s not right for you.

And, Brad, I think what was being said in previous posts is that the state of the world/country can certainly play a part in how you run your day. If your psyche is heavy with that type of turmoil, it can be difficult to keep from bringing that heaviness into your home and routine, no?

I'm not a regular consumer of lifestyle magazines, books, etc., but I enjoy reading about ways I can make a difference in my apartment without going out and shopping for a certain chair or something. Don't get me wrong, I love reading the posts about design. Someday I will be able to afford better quality furniture, but in the meantime I can control the clutter so there is no need to waste time on magazines that fetishize clutter, or waste resources on something to store the stuff I don't need.

One great aspect of Apartment Therapy is its insistance that one is better off with less than more in most cases. This has really helped me take control of my credit card debt, and I don't feel deprived when I am aware of the few things I truly need, and am reminded that my priority is to take care of the things I already have. Now when I see magazines start to pile up or yearn to buy something new, I can assess my situation and see what I truly need compared to what I'm being sold. It's great to know that I can actually increase my quality of life by NOT buying stuff, which is a real change of pace from what usually is communicated to us from the design industry and media.

Besides, in this "be patriotic, own more stuff" atmosphere, the "less is more" attitude is so much more profound than it may initially seem.

very good list.

helps to have somebody articulate and remind us to do the daily tasks that help make life more organized, manageable, and therefore, ultimately, in the end more enjoyable.

Margaret's shell-shocked, is all. Everyone leave the poor woman alone.

That said, I like these lists (and this site). They're a comfort in a time whenever everything else seems to be spinning out of our control. Keep it up.

as another west coast reader. . .i love everything about this blog, including these lists, thoughts, reminders about what is important -- particularly during difficult times like this week. keep 'em coming, maxwell, and thank you!

Michael, I laughed at your post. Part of it was ironic with Bush's "ownership society." At least here things are not measured by how much you own. And KH I didn't mean to flame you, that came off a bit more confrontational than I meant.

Wow, I love this sort of stuff. I've always thought of myself as aesthetically retarded, but I desperately crave order and serenity in my living space; and I happen to be very cerebral and list-oriented -- so this sort of thing kind of helps me bridge the gap between my strengths and my weaknesses.

Cool to see others from SF discover this site. Definitely shell-shocked out here too. Trying to pre-emtively set-up an organized space. Thanks Maxwell for all the work put into this site. Great to see what's happening in NYC with respect to interior design, industrial design, etc.

The undercurrent running through this handy list is that you really need to keep after home maintenance a little bit at a time. Procrastinating for several days (weeks?) will make these little management tasks clump up into insurmountably major chores.

Coming home to a made-up bed becomes reward enough all on it's own. Be diligent for an entire month and once you've developed the habit, you'll wonder why you didn't always do this.

I handle laundry like one of those stealth waitresses (a.k.a. "Nescafe Ninjas") who refills your coffee without you even being aware - my wife nevers sees it getting done, but she's always got clean clothes when she needs 'em. And because I do it a bit at a time, there's never entire days that have to be devoted to several loads of laundry - I've got better things to do with my weekend, don't you?

And I've noticed a big difference since I installed a horizontal mirror with coat hooks in our garage entry / mudroom / laundry corridor. Now we've got a convenient place to grab or deposit coats and bags that keeps the clutter out of the living area. Prior to this, our dining chairs seemed to always be doubling as coat racks.

I, too, enjoy these kinds of posts, because little things, little changes, do make a difference and can add up. Design is ultimately about living, after all.
In light of the election, it may even be more important to be reminded of the importance of small actions.

ladygoat

I have to admit, I am addicted to this site. I really enjoyed reading this list and I have forwarded to a bunch of my friends who are eager to get their apartments & lives under control. What I think the philosophy is behind the above advice, is about being completely in the moment and to really experience all of those components that make up our lives. I feel much better when I take pride in the little things I do.

Re thank-you notes to landlords-- this is something I always did when I rented. It wasn't fake-- I was grateful to have a beautiful, fairly priced brooklyn apartment and I wanted let my landlord to know how much I appreciated their space and their unofficial rent control. Now I'm the brooklyn landlord, and I get thank-yous from my tenants (and because I like them so much, I keep their rent below market). Its a two-way street, and civility on both ends goes a long way towards modulating what can be an unpleasant and unbalanced relationship.

Your list reminded me of one of my favorite quotes -- "The problem is to accomplish the daily tasks under the dome of contemplation, to act in the presence of God, to be religiously in your little role. In this way, you give back to detail, to the passing, to the temporary, to the insignificant, beauty and nobility. You dignify, you sanctify the meanest of occupations. Thus you have the feelig of making your contribution to the universal work, of paying your tribute to the eternal will. You are reconciled to life and you cease to fear death. You are in order and at peace." Henri-Frederic Amiel

I think we can all agree on "Be sure the seat is down after you use the toilet". But shouldn't the lid also be put down?

Feng shui does tell you to pu the lid down. Too much water, something about flushing all the energy away.

It's not just aesthetics, but health and sanitation. Research shows that putting the lid down, especially when flushing, prevents bacteria from escaping from the toilet bowl into the air.

In reference to the post that said something to the effect of it took too much time to make the bed and pull the shower curtain closed, it only takes about three minutes to make up a bed and roughly two seconds to pull the shower curtain closed when you get out of the tub. As someone else suggested, do this everyday for a month and it will become automatic. We all have our routines that we go through during the day, why not incorporate something that will improve our quality of life by cleaning up after ourselves?

This list has things on it that will make us feel good about ourselves and improve our self-esteem (buying flowers, eating off of real plates, using real napkins, dining by candlelight). Some of the ideas are simply practical--sort mail as you come in, put coats, purse, briefcase, etc. by the door so you can find them when you are ready to leave your home in the mornings. A few things are just plan good health practices such as flossing every day, putting the toilet lid down before flushing, and drinking water.

I love lists like these. Please keep them coming.
Thanks.

Hey Jeff,

I'm a HUGE fan of pulling the shower curtain all the way out----that can get pretty nasty. I'm loving this list. I Googled your blog...because your sister told me about it. :)

Was nice meeting you!

"Deb"

Biotech Combany in India Supplying Jatrobha Curcas Feeds and Tissue culture Saplings of Orchids and Other Cut Flower Varietiess.

I really liked the list. Some of the stuff I do, and some of the stuff I don't do. I recently decided to stop buying fresh flowers because of the expense. Wrong way to go! I'm turning around on that one!

However, after being forced to move from my last three rentals (elderly landlady became gradully more paranoid, believed we were allowing the old windows to "rattle" all night long when a windstorm blew in; landlord, having induced us to settle in a dicey neighborhood, refused to renew the lease when I was pregnant so that he could get a higher price when he sold the building; landlord, whose now-deceased father went to prison with John Gotti, having inherited the property from an elderly aunt, pretended he wanted to move a disabled relative into the apartment to take over my rent-stabilized apartment), giving a "thank you" note to the landlord is not going to happen. However, I am quite happy in my current rental, and take the check into the office in person and say hello to everyone once a month. Those of us in rentals probably aren't too happy about the price we pay to be at the mercy of another.