apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Wow, that's scary.

I have a neighbor who had a similar situation. The new roommate didn't pay the rent and then used my friend's corporate credit card on a major shopping binge. The cops were called. My friend kicked the new guy out. Later, the thief sued him in small claims for his security deposit back...and won.

World gone mad.

Whoa.

That's insanity!

Hey! Tell your friend to do like the spurned ex-wife in the joke/urban legend and sew a few fish carcasses into the curtain hems when the monster's not home. Since the good guys are avoiding the place it shouldn't bother them too much, and hopefully it'll make the moocher hit the road sooner than later when she can't find the source of the stench.

1989 -
Moved in and on day one through all my food out and put his in the freezer.

Borrowed my car and ran it aground ripping out some under carriage and stuck it back in the parking spot without telling me about the damage. When I asked him about it he admitted it and said it was my problem for lending it to him.

When I asked him to leave he went down to the leasing office and told them I was assigning the lease and security deposit to him as I was leaving. They didn't believe him and called me.

Finally after physical threats where implied by me - he disappeared owing a great deal of money on rent, utilities, pay per view etc.

I was just glad he was gone. That was my last roommate - ever.

You think THATS bad... a couple who are friends of my husband's owned a place in Paris but they rented it out to a guy who seemed nice at first. Basically he stopped paying rent... for THREE YEARS! And because of laws in France, he could get away with this. Evidently if you even leave the door open there and someone just hunkers down, its near impossible to kick them out. Not kidding...

They're paying the rent and avoiding the apartment? Foolish choice. They should be in there as much as possible, forcing her to face them. It's easy for her to drag this out. She's practically got her own big place rent-free.

Tell your friends to go home NOW, set up shop in the living room, have others over. Live their lives BIG TIME until the deadbeat is forced to leave from all the pressure.

Act like the winners in this dispute.

Hm...can you not hire a couple of wranglers to go in there and beat the shit out of 'em?

A friend of mine had to call a lawyer, and I don't know what he did, but the roommate did leave.

Roommates can be fine, but basically I think that it's better to avoid having them. I had two different roommates in New York -- one in Astoria, and on in Brooklyn, and I'm not really all that curious about what became of either of them.

This is 2007. Take pictures and start a blog. Atrocious behavior often brings the public ridicule and humiliation it deserves. Just make sure everything is true.

seriously...invite someone over with their snake collection for the duration

The Parisians needed to change the locks. I'm not saying it's legal. But that would have moved things along.

When I was in college I shared a house with 3 roomates. It began well, but by the end I was the only remaining roomate. Thank goodness, I was able to split the rent with my then boyfriend.

The landlord gave the best reference to my next landlord. He said I was the only responsible one out of the bunch.

but, yeah...it was a nightmare; screaming matches, fights...the whole works.

I feel your for friend.

I had a cousin who with her best friend went through the same thing. She had a brother, who adored her, but he was a bad guy who had been in prison. So he came to "stay with her and her friend. The roommate left 2 days later.

We actually thought about a roommate removal business called "Rent-A-Thug"....

Oh, and the brother left. He was just doing his sister a favor...turned his life around though...

Had this happen back in my early 20s when I was living with a bunch of folks in 5 BR house. One roomate starting punking us out of his share of rent. After a couple months, we made it clear he needed to move ASAP or his continued existence under our roof was going to quickly get physically uncomfortable for him.

He chose to move. And we sold his TV for some of the back rent. Screw the lawyers and trying to work the system; for disputes like this, you just have to punk them who is punking you.

i LOVE the Rent a thug idea... i can find you one to start if you need..;-)

I hate roommates. I live in a tiny studio because of it. People are just shady sometimes.

My old roommate told the leasing office when we moved out to send the whole deposit to her and she'd give my half to me. They were actually going to do it until I called to set up the walk through and found out she had scheduled one without me and asked to get the deposit. I showed up unannounced to her walkthrough. She was shocked to see me and actually said "I hope you dont think I was trying to steal your deposit!"

What is it about living with a roommate that makes people turn into crooks?

I used to live with two roommates a while ago, for two years. One of them was a good friend of mine, but it turned out that he was the WORST person in the WORLD to live with.
One summer, it was just him and I living in the apartment, our other roommate was home for the summer, but didn't feel like subletting her room so she'd just mail us a rent check every month. Unfortunately, she made the checks out to him. I figured that he was cashing the checks AND paying their portions of the rent (we paid separately because paying together was just impossible). But no!, of course not! He was just cashing the checks and not paying ANYTHING!
I guess our landlord was trying to give us a break or something, since she was getting my portion of the rent every month, but after 3 months the landlord had enough. She sent us a friendly "reminder" letter stating that we still owed $4000!!!! I couldn't comprehend how that was even possible and it didn't even dawn on me that I was the only one actually paying rent until I showed the letter to my roommate and his response was "oh yeah, I guess haven't paid the rent in a while." I went off on him and he paid within the week. Sometimes brute force and anger is the only way to get things done.

Oh, and he was also responsible for the electric bill, since he opened the account in his name. He somehow managed to NOT pay ANYTHING to the electric company for 2 YEARS! He never asked me or my other roommate for our portion of the electric bill and the electric company never shut off our electricity. But after the 2 years, when we had all moved out and I was living on the other side of the country, he then told me and my other roommate that we owe him $600 each for the 2 years of electricity that he was eventually forced to pay when he tried to close the account.
I'm not sure what our other roommate did, but my response was "FAT CHANCE! That $600 includes late charges... 2 YEARS worth of late charges, I'm not giving you a dime!"

I'm guessing that changing the locks on the doors is too simple a solution? Toss all the roommates possessions out the window. Is her name on the lease? What grounds does she have if she's not paying the rent? Maybe that's already been thought of and passed over.

I subletted an apartment in my 20's from a real live "rent a thug". There's a major movie out about RAT's primary boss...I think Joe Pesci stars in it. Anyway, the man was essentially employed by landlords to remove people who had rent controlled apartments. I stayed for about a year without an incident (I was in my 20's, I was broke...) but got out of there as soon as I had two dimes to rub together.

Loving this thread...

I had this happen to me. Had to talk to the landlord who had a lawyer and helped us get the person out. It was very stressful.

Especially after watching too many Judge Judy episodes on YouTube, I never want a roommate again. I'm afraid of what havoc they can wreak, though I've never been in a truly terrible situation.

To respond to the original story - if the roommate isn't paying rent, why isn't the landlord getting involved? The other roommates shouldn't cover for the deadbeat, and instead should tell the landlord what's going on. As long as the landlord isn't getting a full share of the rent, s/he will be motivated to take action against the troublesome roommate.

Ouch I feel for you - I had to ask a roommate to leave about 6 months ago, hardest conversation i ever had, and 2 weeks of akward avoiding. but best thing I ever did. I second the person who says make it uncomfortable.

Gawker featured this recently about a woman who set up a blog telling the world about the guy who gave her herpes (I doubt he's had a date since): http://jezebel.com/gossip/sore-subjects/herpes-vigilante-innocent-or-asshole-314557.php

Build a simple blog site, (forward it to your roommate if you want to give her a chance to rebut, telling her she has a week to leave, before you circulate it). List everything - place of employment, college, bars she hangs out in, everything you know about her, anything people could identify her by. Forward it to all your friends, and gawker, and consumerist, and before you know it......

You could also throw a 'come meet the wench' party and invite lots of people over when you think she might be around.

Also - we've had noise issues with neighbours recently, and have considered leaving the song "Evil woman" on repeat at top volume when we leave the house (We like our other neighbours, so we havent been cruel enough to do it - yet)

Maybe thats a way to irritate her from behind the locked doors if no-one wants to spend time at home.

In this day and age, NO ONE should let someone live with them who is expected to pay rent without putting the agreement in writing! I hate to play the role of paranoid lawyer here (which I am) but there is no reason to refrain signing a lease or sublease(even if you hate slime-sucking scum lawyers and don't want to pay them), you can find plenty of examples online of what a lease should contain. Many cities (Chicago especially) have standard form leases available. Of course, if not drafted by a lawyer, a contract may not hold up in court-- but nightmare roommate doesn't need to know that when you send a threatening letter telling them to move out!

I vote that AT throws their next gathering AT THIS apartment. I'll bring potato chips. moving boxes and a big roll of tape. I'm totally serious.

I had a similar situation and ended up crashing on a friend's couch while I continued paying rent for a place I could not even sleep at! I also tried the lock thing- my stuff still got stolen though!!!!!

But, you may have options: Has any violence occurred between the roommates or are the other 2 roommates afraid for their safety? If so, they may be able to file injunctions and get the 3rd roommate kicked out via the criminal justice system. Once an injunction is approved by a judge, the offender usually has 24 hours to vacate the premises- escorted by the police.....Good Luck!

I had a college roommate who had to be forced out. There were four of us sharing a house and this woman bounced checks nonstop, had major substance abuse/emotional problems, lied constantly and made life miserable for all of us in ways too numerous and terrible to want to think about, much less recount. The straw that broke the camel's back was the morning the police showed up on our doorstep with a warrant for her arrest. She wasn't there and we had no idea where she was and the police thought we were protecting her. Horrible, horrible, horrible!

Our predicament was not to the same degree, but we determined that we were willing to walk away from the apartment at the end of the lease if the 3rd roommate was not willing to move out. Fortunately for us we were near the end of our lease when this situation arose (and the 3rd roommate wasn't an overly vindictive peson). The third roommate wasn't going to be able to sign the lease on their own, or find two new roommates within the window.

Ok... I'm scared. An old friend is moving in with us in the next few months. WHAT SHOULD I DO!? How do I protect myself against this!?

My last roommate took my share of rent and used it for a deposit for a new apartment and moved out while still on the lease.
Took him to court for the remainder of the lease (4 months) that he was not there. With the threat of having his wages garnished and credit damaged, he paid it all. I had fun living rent-free for the last summer I was in college. Not a care in the world. Work, sleep, party, sleep; repeat.

Don't get me wrong GREAT GUY! But who knows it seems like everyone else THOUGHT that their evil flat mates where GREAT to start with. =S

1. Outsmart. Find a legality and a good lawyer to file a case and to see if any of the following measures are legal, at this point... even technically.
2. GET his/her NAME OFF THE LEASE! (and this is when it pays off to be extra nice ;) ;) to the landlord.
3. Get rid of any of his/her possessions, including food items, along with a notarized letter with his initial deposit.
4. Change the locks and install a anti-theft alarm.
5. AFTER he's/her's out of there, immediately get a restraint order. And call the cops as soon as he/she comes near the door.

Easy does it, but IDK about NY maybe things wouldn't legally work that easy there. I hope you get rid of that bitch soon so you can get back to redecorating. :)

It is not that easy here. You can't forcibly evict people in New York City by changing the locks and tossing their stuff out. There are tenant laws that protect from being treated this way. Eviction is a long, drawn-out and expensive process. The original post clearly states this.

These people have got to man up and own their space. They are pursuing legal action, but the roommate is entrenched. Avoidance will not cure this. They don't need to make a spectacle of the roommate or threaten her in any way. That will only blow back on them. The two have to make it their business to exert psychological pressure by always BEING THERE. This is not a personal situation. It's business. So put the emotions aside and deal with it. Why would the deadbeat want to continue living in a place where the people they owe money to are always present (cooking, chatting, in the bathroom, in the LR, in the kitchen)? She can only hide out in her room for so long before cracking.

Make it clear it's YOUR home, and not hers. And when you do see her, look her in the eye at every opportunity. Not a stare down and not a guilt trip. Just a direct look. Alpha dog-style.

bramasoleiowa:

Please, would you post your lawyer's info here? I know that if I move, my landlord is going to make my getting the deposit back difficult and I'd like to be prepared.

Thanks.

I have lived with roommates all my life since college, I think I might have had over 30 roommates in my life, I can not remember them all.

Four years ago I had been living with two roommates in large 3 bedroom pre-war apartment with so many pluses I stayed for nine years. The roommate who was on the lease was crazy and very volatile that we had over 12 roommates come and go in those nine years. I was so happy when the landlord offer me a way out and got me a reasonable 1 bedroom. He had me testify in court against the roommate for colleting too much rent. I am so happy to live on my own now.

As an attorney who has evicted plenty of tenants, I can tell you that you have two choices:

1) do it the "legal" way through the courts and get them evicted. This takes time (at least 6 weeks where I am) and money though.

2) be a hardass. tell the roommate that their crap is going out in 3 days if they don't pay up or leave before then. On D-Day, get some big pals, toss their crap in the hallway and change the locks. Or if your building has storage space, put it there. This has its risks, of course. Their stuff becomes precious antiques all of the sudden and they could sue for a wrongful eviction. They might come back with the cops. But you could take a chance. I figure that if they don't have enough to pay rent, they don't have enough to hire a lawyer. A calculated risk...

Positive stories, anyone?

I guess I shouldn't complain about my roommates so much. The worst things they've done have been breaking a glass (last night) and eating some beef stew I made with expensive beef and wine (about a month ago). They're really nice. Too nice, at times.

My husband shared a huge house with a bunch of people - hippy, communal style. The owner of the house lived there, too.

They cut a friend a deal - you know, rough times etc - and let him move in. He started smoking crack in the house within the week. Crack. In the house. With five other people. Crack. Seriously.

After many "either stop smoking crack or leave" talks, they took the calculated risk and pitched him and his stuff on the front lawn. It worked for them.

I, on the other hand, have had great luck with roommates. I've only lived with close friends but sometimes that can go badly, too.

The law is for the weak.

I'm sorry but your friends are making it way too easy for their roommate from hell. They've gotta make this person's stay as miserable as possible to the point where (despite the free rent) they MUST evacuate. (LOUD MUSIC and HOGGING UP THE BATHROOM works).

But honestly, I would've packed that leech's crap and changed the locks. You've just gotta know how to "work" teh law if it comes down to it. Say that this person has stayed for the last 2 weeks as a FREE guest and has been using drugs. Trust me, this person won't go the lawyer route.

After a couple of bad roommate breakups with "good friends" I was living with (no crack or stealing- but late rent, "accidentally" locking the deadbolt before I got home that sort of thing) I moved in with a complete stranger who turned out to be one of my favorite people on earth- I stay with her every time I come back to new york and she was my maid of honor at my wedding this summer. the other two- are lovely people when you are not living with them- but not really in my life anymore.

When I first moved to San Francisco, I rented a room in flat with three other people. Three weeks after moving in, one of my roommates told me her friend was moving to San Francisco so I had to move out by the end of the month to make room for her. I felt used, like something had been kept from me in order to get a month's rent from me. Really rotten. Needless to say, I moved into a studio when I lived alone.

My episode wasn't quite as nightmarish as most of these, and in hindsight, it's almost funny.

I had an acquaintance/friend-of-a-friend in another state who had always wanted to try living in NYC for a while. Meanwhile, my [totally 100% awesome] roommate wanted to go away for the summer. He allowed me to sublet his room to "Acquaintance."

We agreed to the terms ahead of time, which were *very* generous-- 1 month up front, the balance by the time he left to go home. He sent me a money order for the first month, and appeared on my doorstep a week later. By the end of the summer, he was really getting on my nerves, had been fired from 2 bar-back jobs and a retail job, and was becoming a nuisance. I reminded him that my totally 100% awesome roommate would be home within a couple of weeks, and he needed to make his departure plans, including paying me the balance of the rent.

In complete and total seriousness, he looked at me and said "I didn't think you'd actually make me pay the rest. I thought we'd be sleeping together by now and you wouldn't care."

I was absolutely flabbergasted. I gave him 24hrs to get his ass on a bus. Which he did. To his credit, he actually sent me 1/3 of what he owed me about a year later, but I never heard from him after that.

Reading these comments, I feel lucky! It's not always been a love-fest, but I have no horror stories. I found my last roommate (now a good friend) through a long, picky craigslist search. I was studying for the bar, and really didn't have the time for endless interviews (or $ to float an open room). But, in the wise words of my mom, it's better to endure a little pain up front than to suffer through the long process of getting rid of a bad roommate. Even with a friend, don't ignore those little misgivings in the back of your mind that you hate to admit to having about a friend. Sometimes even great friends make bad roommates.

This is why I why I will never do a roomie situation.....NEVER!!

oh, the memories, on a more positive note, About 3 years ago I found the roommate of my dreams, if he was female and few inches taller I'd marry him. He's neat, tidy, takes care of my dog when I'm out of town, pays his rent on time, and in cash no less (nothing like starting off the month with a fat roll filling out your pocket). And all he's asked for in return is that I don't raise his rent. You see the reason this factors in is the fact that I've recently purchased my first home and in order to make the morgage payment I have to have a roommate, when the reality of that set in I realized that the rent I'd have to charge was more than he could afford. But instead of going our separate ways I considered the prospect of finding a new roommate and the very though sent shutters through my body. So, I decided that we could make up the $200/mo difference in more creative ways. So, not only do I have a great roommate I can trust and get along with, but I also have a live in dog sitter, and better still he keeps the fridge stocked with all the staples, milk, cheese, oj, purple stuff (not really) it's always there. So you see, roommates are not always the nightmare they threaten to be.

Terry-
This was in a midwest collegetown where the judges automatically assume there is a verbal agreement between college students to split costs, so the burden of proof fell on my roommate. I visited student legal before I took action, so he was unable to visit student legal, and I represented myself.
My guess is the judge's decision was favorable to me because the roommate took my share of rent for his own use (stealing) and bounced checks to the landlord. I just wanted his half of rent for the remainder of the lease, I got the whole amount of rent.

I've had to help a friend get rid of her roommate's unwanted houseguest. This guy moved in and just stayed there, even after the roommate moved out, rent-free, doing drugs, etc.

We changed the locks on him, and confronted him with physical force when he tried to return. The cops came, and almost forced us to let him back in ... but then they checked his record and there were four warrants out for his arrest. Maybe what we did was illegal, but eviction notices just weren't going to work.

Wow, I've only had 2 different roommates (not counting the husband) and both were incredibly easy to live with. This was years ago right after college, but even then I was pretty good at sizing people up.

laughing out loud at your story, Snappalossa!

Have never had a roomate, and after reading these stories, hopefully I will never need one. I know that here in NYC it is very difficult to legally get a roommate out, even if s/he stops paying the rent. To the original letter writer, hope you can get the free loader out without any physical harm to anyone.

Ughh I have had so many terrible roommates its not even funny. One of my roommates put herself in a prescription drug colma and slept for 5 days, her boyfriend would barge into the apartment at 3 am and then they would get in fights, she had a cat and never cleaned the cat box...i don't even want to talk about it it makes me soo mad!

I live with a great person now, but man, when you don't like who you live with, it is such a nightmare.

I'm there right now. My fiance is on the lease--has been for 2 years--but let a friend who was going through a divorce move in a year ago. My fiance pays all the bills--the rent, utilities, cable, internet and we all pay him.

We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house so when roomy asked if his under-age girlfriend could move in this summer, we said "It's too crowded." She conveniently got "kicked out" of her house two days later (funny they both go over there for dinner, to house sit, etc. all the time).

For the past three months, roomy says they are "looking" for a place, but efforts have not been made from what we can tell. Throughout this time, we found out that roomy had been going to our friends and telling them how horrible we were to live with, how we always ate his food and used his body wash (funny--they are junk food eaters and I am a vegetarian and I spend a lot of money on expensive body wash and shampoo, why would i use his axe and walmart brand dandruff shampoo?)

Anyway, it all came down when we invited another couple over for board games and roomies purposely (very very purposely) took up the entire living room. We asked nicely to use the living room, and they freaked out. At that point, we told them they needed to be out by the end of the month. Since then, roomy has refused to answer yes or no whether he is going to pay the $200 of his share of the electric. He took over payments on my fiance's bike over the summer and wrecked it to the tune of $1,500 and is "giving" it back to him now without fixing it. He also had the nerve to ask my fiance "who made him king of the house." and wondered why we were screwing him over and making HIM leave when we should be the ones leaving. It's funny.

Since he's not on the lease, I really don't see why we can't have him removed from the premises. Honestly, I kind of just want to make them so uncomfortable they want to leave as soon as possible.

I had a roommate in college who just up and vanished one day and left all her stuff. 3 of us had to pony up her share of rent for the month, then I sold all her shit to the neighbors. Other than her clothes, I had to go through piles of garbage, diet pills, and amateur soft-core porn magazines. Ew.

She actually called my other roomie 6 months later and freaked out when she found out I sold her stuff. Haha.

Wow these are some crazy stories. I'm having similar issues with a deadbeat roommate. Dave, Eviana84, Snappaloosa, Lynne F., Swan... would you guys email me about your situations? I'm really interested in hearing more about your stories and what you guys did about the people you lived with. lrocco27@gmail.com...feel free to shoot me an email